http://www.terminal7.net/keiri Mine mine mine! Sun, 31 May 2009 08:58:01 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en I know he didn't mean to, but Paul really upset me tonight. He wanted to drop by tonight, and that would have been really nice because I was alone as Jarrod was out at a concert with someone. I stupidly had my cell phone in my purse and even though ... http://www.terminal7.net/keiri/2009/05/31/broken-toe/ I'm burnt. I see the world so differently now. It does feel like a lost cause. And right now I'm so tired and feel like I cannot properly navigate this world. I feel like a fuckup. I'm flawed, and maybe I'm the lost cause. http://www.terminal7.net/keiri/2009/05/13/tired-of-fighting-for-a-lost-cause/ My hip hurts. It won't stop hurting. I'm worried about my mother in law. My sister can be selfish (and generally is.) I figured out what I enjoy, but it isn't lasting. Work makes me nervous. I love to sleep but never get enough. http://www.terminal7.net/keiri/2009/03/30/i-am-going-to-complain-and-you-will-deal-with-it/ I think it might be time to change the way I look at living. My whole life I was taking it slow and steady wins the race. Investing in my future through education and bettering myself. But as I grow sicker, and my body kills itself organ by organ (now ... http://www.terminal7.net/keiri/2009/02/16/time-to-change/ Can't sleep, anxious anxious, to the point of vomit. Difficult boss talk today. So much on my plate - I'm overwhelmed, and my emotions are a mess. I'm feeling it so bad I think I might have to vomit again. Fucking hell. I can't even keep track of my time.. ... http://www.terminal7.net/keiri/2009/02/04/anxious/ Exhausted all day, throwing up and sick to my stomach, now I'm wide awake and unable to sleep, with Neko Case running through my head until I had to get up, take some tums, and play some Neko. And think.. always think. Enough to make a woman scream. Thinking about what ... http://www.terminal7.net/keiri/2009/01/27/what-a-mess-i-am/ Took Rassie to the vet again. She's been sick, and right now she's eating very little but the outlook is good. I hear her in the closet licking her lips - ever since we pulled those teeth she's obsessively lip licking. Just took sleeping pills. I can't shut off my ... http://www.terminal7.net/keiri/2008/12/14/ras-cat/ Christmas party was Saturday night. It was beautiful, as always. For the last few years I've done better at social events but I sort of reverted at this one back to feeling insecure and pathetic. Paul wasn't there as much as I'd have liked, but we talked about it and ... http://www.terminal7.net/keiri/2008/12/08/strong/ Sometimes Paul points out to me how hard I work (both at work and at PT or at my health.) I was pleasantly surprised at the improvement I've made at all of these. But it's still hard work and Lord knows I've struggled to manage it. He's right though, I ... http://www.terminal7.net/keiri/2008/10/26/working-hard/ I have a cold (I think) or the beginnings of one. Paul texted me that he went to bed - leaving the conversation on an odd note and leaving me wondering if he was mad at me. I hate that, it makes me sad. I'm much more structured lately and sticking ... http://www.terminal7.net/keiri/2008/10/13/structure-and-sick/