pain

Posted by Keiri on January 24th, 2005 filed in Uncategorized

ugh….

I am in terrific pain. My neck, shoulders, hips, back… my hips hurt earlier today and I guess my body tends to react badly to the strain with compensating in ways that hurt me later. Now when I lay down all I feel is this radiating pain that keeps me from sleeping.

I guess it doesn’t help tomorrow is monday. I hate mondays. And that Fernando and I are having a meeting with someone about the grant I wrote. I’m already dreading the days I have to drive so far out there…

Jarrod helped me get a few things done today. We went food shopping and he helped me make turkey burgers (which were insanely good!) We also added his new car to our insurance, FINALLY paid my bar bill (which amazingly enough DID have a discount for poor lawyers.. now it’s only $260 instead of $480.. :D )

I also wrote a thank-you to someone who spoke to me about contacts and did my usual job searching. Finally, I finished my grant work for tomorrow and emailed Fernando a copy. I still have a bunch of crap on my list to do, but I really feel like I got through to Jarrod about needing help getting my stuff done. So I’m drowning still, but only half as much…

I can’t figure out why I’m still so anxious. I was so productive today. I don’t know why i’m still feeling so weird. I got exhausted around lunchtime.. at the supermarket my hips just shut down. Jarrod thought I was mad at him. Really, I was just quietly trying to calm the pain. I don’t know why it comes on, I don’t know how to stop it, and sometimes taking naps after it starts is the only thing that seems to let it relax a little. Other times, like now, sleep can’t even come on because of the throbbing.

It’s 4 am. I’m in a panic. I will be so tired tomorrow I won’t feel safe to drive. Argh! I have no choice, I have to go. I’m not trying to talk myself into it, I truly know I have to go to this meeting and I _will_ go, I’m just bitching.

Life is just so odd right now.


One Response to “pain”

  1. echrai Says:
    January 26th, 2005 at 6:15 pm

    Hi. You don’t know me and I don’t know you, but I happened across your name in a random blog search and I was intrigued. We have some things in common, so I found it interesting to peek into your life. You, like I, seem to use this blogspace as a place to let out a lot of general frustrations (probably telling yourself it’ll help, while you continue to bitch and moan about things, at least internally anyhow).

    I could tell you it’s all in your mind; that with the proper attitude things will get better, but I’d be lying. However, whether it’s creepy or comforting, you’re not alone and there are random strangers out there who think of you and wish you luck. Particularly with the pain and on the job search front. And even if that doesn’t help pay the bills, at least you’re not alone.

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